26thR/Thanni 1442.(11th December 2020)
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH THE MOST BENEFICENT THE MOST MERCIFUL
BEING THE FOURTH SERMON FOR THE MONTH OF RABEE’UL THAANI DATED 26TH RABEE’UL THAANI 1442 AH (11TH DECEMBER, 2020 CE)
OBSTACLES IN THE PATH OF MARRIAGE
All praises belong to Allah. We praise Him, we seek His Assistance and His Forgiveness, and we repent unto Him. We seek refuge with Allah from the evils of my soul and my bad conduct. Whoever Allah has guided is the one that is indeed guided and nobody can lead such astray. And whoever is led astray, then for such, there is no helper/protector that can guide him. I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah alone. He has no partner or associate.I testify also that Muhammad (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) is His slave and Messenger. May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be on him, his household, his companions and all thos ethat follow them in goodness till the Day of Judgment.
Thereafter… Oh people! I admonish you and myself with the fear of Allah, the Most Glorified and Majestic. Woevr fears Allah, He protects and helps him, and He is sufficient for him, in accordance with His Words: ‘…And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him a way Out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. (AtTalaaq: 2-3). ‘…And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him of his matter ease.’ [At-Talaaq:4]. ‘..,and whoever fears Allah- He will remove for him his misdeeds and make great for him his reward.’ [At-Talaaq:5].
Servants of Allah! The topic of our sermon today will be about the obstacles in the path of marriage. Last week, we talked extensively about early marriage in Islaam: the happiness and protection. Allah Ta’alah has made marriage a safeguard and protection for people from deviation as a result of whims and lust, and a way of establishing families and societies. Quranic verses have been revealed as well as Hadiths that commands and encourages marriage. Allah Ta’alah says: ‘then marry
those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four.’ [An-Nisaai:3].
This way of the prophet is what the predecessors of this Ummah followed. Abdullah ibn Mas’uud [may Allah be pleased with him] said: ‘If I do not have more than ten days left to live, and I know that I would die at the end of those ten days, its long enough for me to get married due to fear of fitnah [temptation/zinah].’ Muaadh said while he’s sick, ‘Find me a wife to marry so that I don’t meet Allah as an un-married person’. From all these, we understand the importance of marriage and the danger/harm of being reluctant to do it, given the serious exposure it could cause and the serious harm it could cause to the individual and the society, being the cause of spread of vice and corruption among the youths. Who are the principal pillar in building and uplifting society. And so the youth would become preocuupied with seeking ways, outside lawful means, to fulfill their temptations and instinctive lusts. This overwhelms and consumes his mental and physical capacity.
Marriage faces certain hurdles that have originated in some socities and has become stumbling blocks for anyone that wants to get married, and so the matter of marriage then becomes difficult for many young men and women.
Servants of Allah! Among these obstacles, in fact, the most difficult for young people and most common ones that dives youngpeople away are:
The Obstacle of Expensive Dowries: The dowry is a right of the bride that Allah mandates on the groom, as an evidence/indication of his seriuosness and eagerness to marry her, and a token of honouring her, not a price for her. Today, the dowry has become, for some people, a means of bragging about how huge and expensive it is, different from the Sunnah of their Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him). We expounded on this in our sermon last week and we related the Hadith of the prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) where he said: ‘the best dowry is the easiest one.’(Haakim).
Among the hurdles in the part of marriage is lack of desire among some young men and women to bear the responsibility of marriage, which results in many of them reaching the age of marriage while he/she is still not prepared to bear this responsibility, and you see that they are afraid of its burdens. This without doubt is a lack of will. Ibn Abee Shaybah said in his book that Taawus said to Ibrahim ibn Maysarah: ‘You will get married or I will say to you what Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to Ibn Zawaaid “There is nothing that stops you from getting married except lack of will and sins.”’
Another obstacle is delaying mariage despite having the capacity, with the excuse of wanting to complete his/her education or preoccupation with making money. And to be sure, seeking knowledge ie getting education and pursuing a livelihood in this life is a praiseworthy endeavour. However, it must not become an obstacle in the path of getting married. Indeed, marriage brings psychological stability, mental calmness that helps husbands to succeed in their studies and excel in their disciplines. This is achieved by them assisting each other in realizing their goals and by combining their efforts. Allah, the Most Honourable and Majestic said: ‘And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.’ (Ar-Ruum:21).
Among the obstacles that militates against marriage is holding tight to tribal, familial, and clannish partisanship/bigotry and making it a condition for accepting or rejecting a proposal, resulting in rejection of a good proposal from a pious and righteous person because of his family/lineage or his tribe, and ths is one of the dangers that threatens the Islamic society. And the prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) has warned against rejecting the hand of a suitor for reasons like this that is other than lawful Sharea’ah reasons, saying: “if anyone comes to you, whose character and religion you are pleased with, to seek marriage, then get him married, otherwise, there would be tribulation on the land and a blantant corruption” (Tirmidhiy).
Servants of Allah! It is not part of the religion or reasonable in the least to delay the marriage of a lady that is ready for marriage because her elder sister has not married. This is another obstacle that some ladies face and some arev preveted from gettin married because of this. All these hurdles and obstacles, we are the ones that made them for ourselves, without guidance from Allah or recourse to the Illuminating Book (Al-Qur’aan).
Listen, Oh servants of Allah! Fear Allah and desist from classifying people into levels according to their race or tribe or the familybthat they come from. Allah Ta’alah said: “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made
you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most
noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous1416 of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (Al-Hujuurat:13). And indeed, the prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) has said in describing clannisnness and tribalism: “Leave it, it stinks” (Agreed upon).
All praises belong to Allah. I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah alone. He has no partner or associate.I testify also that Muhammad (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) is His slave and Messenger. May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be on him, his household, his companions and all thos ethat follow them in goodness till the Day of Judgment.
Servants of Allah! Welcome and accept getting married and do not let these obstacles get in your way. Allah the Almighty helps everyone that endeavors to get married for chastity, and do not let the Shaytan deceive you and prevent you from geting narried. You should know that whoever makes a commitment to get married to protect his chastity, Allah would help him and guide him steps and bless him with peace of mind and happiness. It has been related from Abu Hurrairah [may Allah be pleased with him] that he said, the Mesenger of Allah (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘It is upon Allah to help three categories of people: the person who fight in Allah’s Cause, the borrower who intends to repay, and the one who gets maried because of his/her chastity.’ [Tirmidhiy]. Abdullah ibn Mas’uud [may Allah be pleased with him] said ‘Seek rich sustenance in maariage, Allah says: “…If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty…”’ [An-Nuur:32].