Tahreek: Abu Dar’da & his wives

 Topic: Abu Dar’da and his wives: Their efforts and death.

Preamble

We have discussed[1] the Islam and companionship[2] of Abu Dar’da and one[3] of his two wives. We will discuss his efforts and contributions to Islam and his death with a brief on his wives.

Abu Dar’da – أبو درداء

Fact box

Name 1.      Aamir bn Maalik OR

2.      Uwaimir[4] bn Maalik

1.      عامر بن مالك

2.      عويمر بن مالك

Famous name Abu Dar’da

أبو درداء

Names of wives 1.  Khayrah bint Abi Hadrad

2.   Hujaymah bint Uyay

1.      خيرة بنت أبي حدرد

2.      هُجَيْمَةُ بِنْتُ حُيَيٍّ

Son Bilal bn Abi Dar’da

بلال بن أبي الدرداء

Daughter Dar’da درداء
Death 32 A.H  

Notable Qualities

  1. Abu Zaid
  2. Ubay bn Ka’ab
  3. Sa’eed bn Abeed
  1. His knowledgeable wife (Hujaymah bint Uyay)
  2. His son (Bilal bn Abi Dar’da).

His marriages

He married two wives, Hujaymah bint Uyay and Khayrah bint Abi Hadrad; the later was a sohabiyyah[5], the former was a taabihah[6], known for her knowledge and devoutness to worship, she survived her husband.

 A balance between life and afterlife

The prophet paired Abu Dar’da with Salman Al-Farsi in brotherhood[7]; when Salman visited his companion at home, he met his wife with a noticeable condition of a woman not well catered for, when he enquired, she complained of Abu Dar’da’s too much devotion to ibadah which kept him away from adequate attention to his family. Salman made immediate intention to stay overnight and correct the extreme approach of his brother. Abu Dar’da was happy to meet his brother at home and gave him the warmest hospitality. Salman then stayed overnight to observe situation in order to complete his unplanned mission. His observation confirmed that Abu Dar’da will fast during the day and keep tahajjud during the whole night. This is extreme and unacceptable in the Sunnah of the prophet, especially for the married; fasting prevented him from spousal intimacy during the day, all night long tahajjud is not encouraged[8]. Salman adviced his companion in brotherhood to maintain a balance between the Rights of Allah and the Rights of his body and family; he admonished him to fast some days and leave the fast for other days, stay with wife for a part of the night and keep vigil for the rest. Abu Dar’da confirmed the advice from the prophet so maintained same.

May Allah keep the two companions in His grace and guide us to benefit from the statement of the prophet: “A believer is the mirror of his brother. A believer is the brother of another believer. He protects him against loss and defends him behind his back.”[9]

 His encounter at the battle of Uhud

The battle of Uhud was not an easy one for the Muslim army. Abu Dar’da demonstrated his relentless effort with high level skills. He maintained his determination to continue the struggle amidst the confused Muslim army until the disbelievers retreated. No surprise that the prophet praised his effort: “What an intelligent Uwaimir!”

His death

He died two years before the death of Uthman bn Affan, 32 years after the hijrah. He was buried in the graveyard of martyrs in Damascus.

Khayrah bint Abi Hadrad – خيرة بنت أبي حدرد

Fact box

Name Khayrah bint Abi Hadrad

خيرة بنت أبي حدرد

Name of husband Uwaimir bn Maalik

عويمر بن مالك

Children 1.      Bilal bn Abi Dar’da

2.      Dar’da

1.   بلال بن أبي الدرداء

2.   درداء

Notable name The older mother of Dar’da

أم الدرداء الكبرى

Outlines of her life

Ummu Dar’da – الصغرى أم الدرداء

Fact box

Name Hujaymah bint Uyay

هُجَيْمَةُ بِنْتُ حُيَيٍّ

Name of husband Uwaimir bn Maalik

عويمر بن مالك

Notable name The younger mother of Dar’da

أم الدرداء الصغرى

 Outlines of her life

[1] In our Jumada-ath-Thaani 1435 edition.

[2] As a companion of the prophet.

[3] His later wife (Hujaymah bint Uyay) was discussed in isolation.

[4] A report of Bukhari says, Aamir was the actual name, Uwaimir was a nickname given to him. However, Uwaimir was the most common name for him.

[5] A female sahabah

[6] A female among the generation that followed the sahabah.

[7] One of the early notable administrative step that the prophet took to establish a vibrant Muslim community in Madinah was to pair the companions of similar qualities and characteristics.

[8] Except for special period in Ramadan (I’tikaaf).

[9] Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 239 (English ref: Book 12 Hadith 239)

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