IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE BENEFICENT, THE MERCIFUL
BEING THE THIRD KHUTBAH FOR THE MONTH OF SHAWWAL, DATED 15TH SHAWWAL 1444AH (5TH MAY, 2023CE)
TITLED: ENJOINING GOOD AND FORBIDDING EVIL WITHIN THE FAMILY CIRCLE
THE FIRST SERMON
All Praises belong to Allah, we praise Him, we seek His help, we seek His forgiveness and we repent unto Him. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils of our souls and from our bad deeds. He whom Allah guides will not be misled, and he who is misled will not be guided. I bear witness that there is no god worthy of worship except Allah alone. He has no partner. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and His Messenger, may the enduring Peace and abundant Blessings of Allah be upon him and his family and companions.
Thereafter… I enjoin you with the fear of Allah, as it is the command of Allah directed to His believing servants: (يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقاتِهِ وَلا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَاّ وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ) “O you who believe, fear Allah as He should be feared, and do not die except as Muslims” (Aal-Imran: 102).
The topic of our sermon today revolves around enjoining good and forbidding evil within the family.
You should know that enjoining good and forbidding evil is a characteristic of believers. Allah Ta’aalaa says: (وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَيُقِيمُونَ الصَّلَاةَ وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَيُطِيعُونَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ أُولَئِكَ سَيَرْحَمُهُمُ اللَّهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ ) “The believers, men and women, are Auliya’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma’ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.” (At-Tawbah: 71).
The obligation of enjoining good and forbidding evil, as it is the motto of the entire Islamic community, it then is incumbent that there must be among the muslims, a group that performs this solemn duty, in giving effect to the Words The Creator (Allah, Al-Baariy) – Glorified is His mention: (وَلْتَكُنْ مِنْكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ ) “Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islam), enjoining Al-Ma’ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful.” (Aal-Imran: 104). This duty is equally emphasized in the responsibilities of the parents and other members of the family, each according to his level of ability and authority, especially that the father, in accordance with his authority over those that Allah has placed under his guardianship, including the wives and the children, because the ability and capacity is mostly domiciled in his right.
This is an aspect that has a great effect, that is of much advantage and benefit, because if every Muslim enjoins good and forbids evil within his home and within the sphere of his influence and family, all these evils that we see everywhere would disappear from society, and it would become a society that is closer to piety and goodness.
In the following, we shall summarize the most important areas of the good deeds that we should command within the homes, which occur often and are needed always:
1- The command to perform acts of worship and renouncing laziness:
It is a common reprehensible act in the homes, and the most important act of worship that should be enjoined: Establishing the obligatory prayers at the appropriate times, along with all the pillars, conditions, and the compulsory duties. Children of both sexes are enjoined to perform solat from the age of discernment, as previously mentioned, and contemplate the words of Allah – the Most High: (وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَاصْطَبِرْ عَلَيْهَا لَا نَسْأَلُكَ رِزْقًا نَحْنُ نَرْزُقُكَ وَالْعَاقِبَةُ لِلتَّقْوَى ) “Bid your people to pray, and be diligent in ˹observing˺ it. We do not ask you to provide. It is We Who provide for you. And the ultimate outcome is ˹only˺ for ˹the people of˺ righteousness.” (Taha: 132). He also says of Luqman: (يَا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَى مَا أَصَابَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ) “O my dear son! Establish prayer, encourage what is good and forbid what is evil, and endure patiently whatever befalls you. Surely this is a resolve to aspire to.” [Luqman: 17]. And the Prophet said: “Order your children to pray when they are seven years old, and spank them for not praying when they are ten years old.” (Sunan Abi Dawud)
With regard to prayer: waking up the children for Fajr prayer by adopting the appropriate methods and reasons, for that, including: education and getting them accustomed to the legitimate adhkar related on that, which include what is in the hadith Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When any one of you sleeps, Satan ties three knots at the back of his neck. He recites this incantation at every knot: ‘You have a long night, so sleep.’ If he awakes and remembers Allah, one knot is loosened. If he performs Wudu’, the (second) knot is loosened; and if he performs prayer, (all) knots are loosened. He begins his morning in a happy and refreshed mood; otherwise, he gets up in bad spirits and sluggish state.”
(Agreed Upon)
So the father takes his children to the mosque in order to get trained to perform this solemn act of worship in congregation in the mosques, and the mother also watches over her daughters, ordering them to pray at home.
The efforts of paying attention to the issue of prayer, obliging children to perform and establish it as required – is one of the major pillars of the stability and righteousness of homes, and neglecting this leads to disappointment and heartbreak for those who caused it, especially adolescent youth of both sexes, whom often get leniency towards them, especially the Muslim girl who have attained puberty and who must be taught the rulings of purification and prayer.
Let’s see how the scholars took care of this aspect of the religion. This is Ibn Taymiyyah – may Allah have mercy on him – saying: “If the blood of a menstruating woman stops, and she is not able to do ghusl except after the specified time has ended, she would perform tayammum and prays at the right time, and whoever thinks that praying after the specified time has ended using water for ghusl is better than praying at the specified time with tayammum, then he is an ignorantly misguided person.” (Majmu’ Fatawas)
And he said: It is not permissible for anyone to delay the daytime prayer until the night, nor the night prayer should be delayed until the daytime due to any engagement or task, not because of harvesting, or for plowing, or for producing anything, or because of any janabah, or impurity, or hunting, amusement, playing, or for serving any teacher, or any other. Rather, all Muslims agree that it is mandatory upon him to pray zuhr and asr prayers during the day, and pray the Fajr before sunrise. This should not be left for any production work, nor for fun, nor for any other kind of work.
Then he- may Allah have mercy on him presented his evidence, which is the hadith of Ibn Umar – may Allah be pleased with them both – on the authority of the Prophet – may God’s prayers and peace be upon him: “If someone misses the asr prayer it is as if he has suffered a great misfortune in his family and wealth” (Agreed upon) and the hadith of Buraydah – may Allah be pleased with him – On the authority of the Prophet (ﷺ): “He who misses the ‘Asr Salat (deliberately), his deeds will be rendered nul and void.”. (Narrated by Bukhari)
And in the admonition of Abu Bakr – may Allah be pleased with him – to Umar bn Al-Khattab – may Allah be pleased with him – he said: “Allah Has a right at night that He does not accept during the day, and a right in the day that He does not accept at night.” (Majmu’ Fatawa)
Thus, scholars have shown the importance of preserving prayer and perpetuating its establishment, as well as the issue of zakat, fasting, Hajj, and all other obligations and Sunnahs, especially the affirmed Sunnahs, like the two rak’ahs of dawn. In the hadeeth of Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her: “The Prophet (ﷺ) did not attach more importance to any Nawafil prayer than the two Rak’ah of prayer before dawn (Fajr) prayer.” (Agreed upon)
2- The command to revive the Sunnah and put an end to innovations
The righteous predecessors used to follow this, and their children and offspring were raised on it. The task of the honest Muslim is to follow the Sunnah in all his affairs, and jettison innovations, on condemning innovations the hadith of Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – she said: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “If anyone introduces in our matter something which does not belong to it, will be rejected”, and in a narration: “If anybody introduces a practice which is not authenticated by me, it is to be rejected” (Agreed upon). This hadith is a great rule from the rules of Islam, and it is one of the summaries of his words (ﷺ) because it is explicit in rejecting all innovations, and contains the rejection of all innovations; whether the doer innovated it, or was preceded in its innovation. (Al-Minhaj by al-Nawawi (12/ 257).)
And on the authority of Ibn Abbas – may Allah be pleased with them – he said: “The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ” “The people most hateful to God are of three classes he who is heretical in the sacred territory, he who wants to introduce into Islam the tradition of the pre-Islamic period, and he who unjustly demands the death of a Muslim to shed his blood.” (Narrated by Bukhari)
In reviving the Sunnah, the hadith of Jarir bin Abdullah – may Allah be pleased with him – said: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Whosoever introduces a good practice in Islam, there is for him its reward and the reward of those who act upon it after him without anything being diminished from their rewards. And whosoever introduces an evil practice in Islam, will shoulder its sin and the sins of all those who will act upon it, without diminishing in any way their burden” (Muslim)
Abandoned Sunnahs differ according to the environment, culture and lifestyle. So also is innovations, they are on levels, and the prudent father deals with the problem in a wise manner, patience, gradualism and deliberation. And he realizes the importance of reviving the Sunnah and the effects of neglecting innovations, and that no innovation appears except that in its place a Sunnah practice would be forgotten, and that is a vacuum in the religion, if it is neglected – the features of the whole religion are about to be lost..
3- Enjoining good manners and etiquettes
The purified Sunnah has taught us the virtue and advantage of good manners and etiquettes to the degree that the Prophet (ﷺ) made it the purpose of his mission; “on the authority of Abu Hurairah. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “I was sent to perfect good morals.” And in a narration: “righteous morals”. He (ﷺ) said: “For a man to discipline his child is better than giving charity of a measure of Saa’.” (Al-Tirmidhi). Imam Ahmad recorded from Kaladah bin Al-Hanbal that at the time of the Conquest (of Makkah), Safwan bin Umayyah sent him with milk, a small gazelle, and small cucumbers when the Prophet was at the top of the valley. He said, “I entered upon the Prophet and I did not give the greeting of Salam nor ask for permission to enter. The Prophet said, Go back and say: “As-Salamu `Alaykum, may I enter?” This was after Safwan had become Muslim.” (Abu Dawud)
The poet said:
Etiquette is useful for children at a young age, but it is not useful at old age
if you straighten the branches, they are straightened, but It will not be soften if it is hardened by wood
It is well known that etiquettes is an expression of good relationship, and dealing with others, and it is considered one of the priorities of moral education. The Messenger, (ﷺ) gave it great importance until he made a content to be instilled in the child and made accustomed to him so that it became one of his congenital natures. If the parents are negligent in this matter, the consequence will be severe for the child and the parents, to be punished in this world and the hereafter. One of the predecessors said to his son: “My son, for you to learn a chapter of etiquette is dearer to me than for you to learn seventy chapters of knowledge.” Abu Zakariya al-Anbari said: “Knowledge without etiquette is like fire without wood, and etiquette without knowledge is like a soul without a body” (Adabul Imlaa Was-istimlaa, and Kitabul Jamiu by Khateeb Al-Baghdaadi). There are many types of etiquette, and among the types that we must enjoin upon them within the family are the following: Etiquette with parents, etiquette with scholars, elders, and relating with them in respect and reverence, etiquette with brothers and neighbours, including the etiquette of appearance, gathering and seeking permission, others include etiquette of food, speech, and etiquette of listening during recitation of the Qur’an, including the character of truthfulness, trustworthiness, keeping secrets, and having free mind from hatred and envy.
Surely, if the pen was extended in listing all the chapters of the discourse, this discussion would have been too long, thus this amount is enough for now. May Allah shower His peace and blessings upon our Prophet, his family, and all his companions.
THE SECOND SERMON
All praises are due to Allah, and prayers and salutation of peace be upon the teacher of good to humanity, his family and companions.
Servants of God, let us direct the discourse to matters relating to women within the family
Prohibited matters that are related to women: These are many and varied, which differ according to environment and culture. We hereby mention some of them as follow:
A- Mingling between foreign men and women, which is a forbidden act, whether within or outside the home, and it has many forms, including: staring at, having hand shake, being in seclusion with the opposite sex, unabsolved discussion, carefree leniency with male relatives; such as the uncle, the cousin, the brother-in-law, and the “the brother-in-law is death”. As said by the Prophet – may Allah bless him and grant him peace: (Agreed upon). Regarding the prohibition of being alone with the opposite sex, in the hadith Ibn ‘Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “No man should be alone with a woman except in the presence of her (Mahram). No woman should travel except in company of a (Mahram).” (Agreed upon)
Among the prohibited acts also include Tabarruj and sufuur ie: wanton display of beauty and nudity, which is when a woman goes out of her home displaying her adornment and adorning perfume, seducing and being seduced, revealing what Allah has commanded to be covered of her adornment and nudeness, so she goes out unnecessarily, or she goes out alone with a driver and the like, who is non of her mahrams, Allah the Almighty says: “Settle in your homes, and do not display yourselves as women did in the days of ˹pre-Islamic˺ ignorance.” [Al-Ahzab: 33]
B- Prohibited adornment: including: tattooing, plucking the eyebrows, teeth filing, hair extensions, all of which are included in the prohibited adornment. Tattooing is filling kohl and the likes into the skin in certain forms to make it last for a long time. Al-Nams (plucking the eyebrows) is removing the hair of the eyebrows to make them look thin.
Al-Falaj (Teeth filing): is the use of a filing tool between the teeth to create space between them. The curse of Allah have been pronounced on each of these prohibited beautification acts; Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her, said: “The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those women who have themselves tattooed, and those women who practice the act of removing hair from the eyebrows and faces and those women who get their hair removed from their eyebrows and faces”. (Narrated by Al-Nisa’i)
And in the hadeeth of Abdullah bn Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) he said: Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those women who have themselves tattooed, and those women who get their hair removed from their eyebrows and faces (except the beard and the mustache), and those who make artificial spaces between their teeth for beauty, whereby they change Allah’s creation. A woman started to argue with him, saying: “What is all this?” He replied: “Why should I not curse those whom the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) cursed and who are cursed in Allah’s Book?” (Agreed upon)
In general, the temptation of women today is at its worst level, and the solution of this temptation begins from within the home. With good education and discipline, and with wisdom in the method of correction and discipline, so that the Muslim woman is entrench on the verge of the teachings of the true religion, its morals, and etiquette with satisfaction, conviction, and faith. If this aspect of the life of Muslims was neglected, strife would have pervaded, and tribulations would have engulfed, and how not, when the Prophet (ﷺ)said: “I am not leaving behind me a more harmful trial for men than women”. Narrated by Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with them) (Agreed upon)
And in the hadeeth, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “There are two types of people who will be punished in Hell and whom I have not seen: men having whips like the tails of cows and they will be beating people with them, and, women who will be dressed but appear to be naked, inviting to evil; and they themselves will be inclined to it. Their heads will appear like the humps of the Bactrian camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Jannah and they will not smell its fragrance which is perceptible from such and such a distance.” [Muslim].
The temptation of women today is at its strongest level, especially since our generation lives in an era of influential media in all its forms; print, audio and visual. Safety from these seditions has become difficult, except for those Allah granted mercy, and the enemies of Islam took advantage of that, so they excelled in decorating lustful desires with all forms of temptations; to dismantle and seduce the Muslim family, and weaken the Islamic community, and then undermine the edifice of Islam, and obviously Allah encompasses what they do;
Therefore, the members of the Muslim family – each according to his ability, position and responsibility – should stand for enjoining good and forbidding evil, advising and reminding, exhorting truth and exhorting patience; it is inevitable, in compliance to follow the path of Muslims, and to ward off the destructive social, moral, economic and cultural dangers that afflict the family, the society, and the nation, if Muslims hesitate to perform this venerable Islamic ritual.
I say this saying of mine, I seek forgiveness from Allah for for me and for you, so seek forgiveness from Him, for He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.
Dua: Oh Allah, show us the truth as truth and grant us ability to follow it, and show us falsehood as falsehood and grant us the ability to avoid it, and do not make it ambiguous for us, that we go astray and be miserable. May Allah fill your hearts and homes with contentment and happiness, compassion and prosperity, goodness and increase. Oh Allah, fill our homes with love and tenderness, calmness and reassurance. O Allah, make our homes the happiest, most comfortable, and most peaceful place. O Allah, make us the happiest of Your creation through You, and the poorest of Your servants to You, for You are All-Hearing, Near.